Friday, February 29, 2008

[Kiley's Blog:On The Loose #2] The Sanfansisco Eatthquake

It was about 5:00 in the morning and I was getting around for school and as I was getting my shoes on i could hear screaming from outside my window. I undid the lock on my window and opened it...and what I saw terrified me. Then I started to feel the Earth shake. I ran to get my parents but...they were no where to be found. So I ran into the empty storage closet. (Which did not live up to it's name because we never stored anything in it...because it was empty.) And I hid in there and the floor shook from under me,knocked me into the door and out of the storage closet! I must of landed in my bedroom. And when I looked up my window was still open so I jumped out the window and landed on my back. (I don't know why I jumped out the window,I just felt like if I didn't I would regret it.) And boy...I'm I glad I jumped out the window because when I was laying on my back the house shook harder,than it tumbled to a big pile of rubble! I ran to the mail-box surprised that it was still standing and waited for the earthquake to be over. As I saw people dieing and crying out for help from under piles of what was once a building it made me think..."Will I survive?" I heard a voice,a voice of a person I knew very,very well. It was my friend Cendy. I helped her stand up. She could not find her parents either. We fled for the streets. We heard a voice and it was Cendy's parents she said that she would be right back after she greeted her parents. So I waited...and waited...and waited...but she never returned. I worried about her. "Is she ok?" I asked myself.
I was going to go search for her but I did not know were I was and I was dozing off a little bit too. And at that time I felt that I needed something sweet,I felt that I MUST have some candy!!! I don't know why I just did! So I stuffed my hand in my pocket and I found some fuzzy string and a JAW BREAKER!!! I love jaw breakers so I popped one in my mouth and smiled. I know what you are thinking "Why I am I smiling I can't find one of my friends and my parents are no were to be found! So why I'm I smiling? You may ask?" I'm happy because I survive but I still wish my friend Cendy and my parents could be here and enjoy a another jaw breaker with me!!! I saw someone running toward me!!!
It was my mom she told me that dad was hurt very badly. But he made it out alive!!! and Cendy was ok!
"Well is that all?" asked the news reporter. "Well did I tell you the story about how I was on the TITANIC when it sunk?" "No!!!" "ok i"ll tell you

Posted By Kiley to Kiley's Blog:On The Loose #2 at 2/29/2008 11:04:00 AM


Wm Chamberlain said...

I like the way you added humor to your story. I don't think most people would think it is appropriate and I am glad you did it because I thought it worked. I would like you to work on creating paragraphs when you have a new thought.

Anonymous said...

It was very detailed indeed, but I agree with Mr. C. It was a very exciting story, but without the proper spacing and indenting it seemed like a flurry of events one after the other.

I always like to end on a good note, so let me tell you, this is a nice story, fast and furious.